How to Protect Your Energy When Engaging Online
Do you ever notice how you feel after spending more time than intended online?
I certainly notice my own irritability or sense of let down when I unconsciously spend more time in online social or media communities. Sometimes, my intent is to connect and engage within a specific community. A lot of times, I’m desiring some novelty or am looking for a way to avoid being present with whatever feelings of discomfort I’m having at the moment.
The goal, though many times unconscious, is usually to shift toward a feeling that is a little more positive, energized, in-the-know or engaged. Often though, the end result can leave me feeling the opposite.
I’ve noticed an increasingly very fine line between feeling that desired positive shift versus comparing myself somehow or feeling a sense of overwhelm related to world events. That can easily lead toward a spiral of sneaky self-criticism, for all kinds of things.
How did I let this much time pass on my phone?! What is wrong with me? - guilt and shame
The world feels like it’s falling apart - it seems no matter what I do, it will never be enough. - overwhelm
I know better than to compare myself! And yet, I still feel like I’m not doing enough or doing my things the right way. - perfectionism and more shame.
How can sensitive souls navigate the online world in a way that feels intentional and empowering? Is the answer never to engage? How do we successfully navigate engaging in online communities so as to not also overwhelm ourselves?
I have some ideas I want to share that have helped me feel more intentional, avoid overwhelm and temper the let-down that I feel after.
Identify your honest intent before connecting to a social community and try to keep it in mind.
Social media like Facebook/Instagram/TikToc/LinkedIn (I count LinkedIn even though it can be work related) can easily overwhelm with the amount of information, ideas, quotes, lessons, stories, etc.
If it’s a smaller online community, like on Mighty Network or another platform, have some specifics of what you plan to do once logged-in as it can be tempting to catch-up on every comment and post.
Once your intention is clear, say no to self-judgment. "I just need a mindless break and want to feel entertained, so I will look at silly dog TikToks” or "I want to see what other sensitive moms are up to and maybe engage with a few women that I resonate with right now,” are both equally valid.
Set a timer.
Whether it’s 10 minutes or 45. Allocate whatever amount of time you feel you want or need for your social media engagement. (LinkedIn counts here too even though it’s often related to work.) I find this tip particularly helpful if that timer is not on my phone and it’s in another room where I have to go and turn it off.
Then, thank your timer, and your past self for setting the timer.
Have a plan for after your time is complete.
What's your next move or two? To read a few pages of a book? To make a call? To journal? It may be helpful for it to be something enjoyable, even if it’s for a couple of minutes. If the dishes are up next, perhaps even give yourself space to open your back door and take a big breath of fresh air beforehand or to play some music. Be specific with yourself.
Be present.
Try not to multitask while engaging online(I usually find that some guilt is behind feeling the need to multitask). Our brains are already processing a lot of information - give yourself the gift of focusing within the container of the media of choice.
And lastly but most important - be gentle with yourself. Trying even one idea above may help shift your time spent in the online world a bit less overwhelming and a little less deflating once you disengage.
Do you have any other ideas that you find helpful? I’d love to hear them.
